our happy home birth story

And baby makes four! We welcomed our new baby into the world early last week, and the following is a detailed account of the birth, if you’re into that kind of thing. 😉 Enjoy!

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I had been having timeable Braxton-Hicks contractions on and off for about two weeks, so when I woke up just after 4:00am on Monday, February 27th, feeling crampy, I tried not to get too excited about it. It was true, though, that these cramps felt very different than the contractions I’d been having. I lied in bed trying to pay attention to what my body was doing, and when John woke up shortly before 5:00, I let him know there was a chance he wouldn’t be going to work that day. My contractions were lasting about a minute and were around five minutes apart, but shortly after calling my midwife, Pam, they seemed to get a bit weaker and shorter. I spent the next couple hours bouncing on the birth ball and occasionally using a breast pump to try to keep things moving.

John stayed home from work just in case things were going to pick up suddenly, so I wouldn’t be stuck trying to take care of Benjamin and having strong contractions without help. Nothing changed much over the course of the morning, and Pam came to see me around noon. She checked my cervix and I was only about 2-3 centimeters dilated. I wanted her to consider sweeping the membranes to help things get moving, and she thought about it for a while and decided she was okay with it if I was sure it was what I wanted. She added some evening primrose oil to my cervix and gave me a sweep, and my contractions began to feel different right away. They were still mild, but noticeably stronger than before. Sometime mid-afternoon they began to get strong enough that I needed to focus and breathe through them, and I used the opportunity to build a habit of deep, focused breathing and relaxation whenever I felt a contraction beginning. I kept Pam posted throughout the afternoon, and she came back to our house at about 10:00pm. The three of us talked and settled in, and Pam watched and encouraged me through some contractions as she observed how I was focusing.

John called my mom and my friend, Charise, who was going to be taking pictures for us, and they headed over. At around 11:00 or so my contractions were really beginning to get uncomfortable. John put on some worship music I had chosen earlier, and I sang or whispered along with the lyrics in between contractions.  I was sitting on the living room floor with Pam gently rubbing my back and telling me how well I was doing, while John sat in front of me and massaged my thighs which were beginning to ache. I started to shiver like crazy as if I were freezing cold, though I didn’t feel cold, and Pam said it was from the hormones. I wanted to get in the birth tub to see if it would help the discomfort, and the water felt very nice. I knelt in the water and leaned on the edge of the tub, and John sat in front of me outside the tub, rubbing my arms and encouraging me during contractions. Everyone was showing up, including the other midwives, Jan and Valerie, and they all went about their business quietly and respectfully so they wouldn’t interrupt our focus.

As the contractions continued to intensify, I paid close attention to my body and was noticing how things were beginning to feel different between this labor and my labor with Benjamin nineteen months earlier. It seemed to help that the progression from mild to intense was moving more gradually and steadily, which helped me feel more in control of how I coped with the contractions. I had an easier time keeping my voice low-pitched and my energy moving downward rather than tight and high, and I didn’t feel as much like the contractions were overwhelming and defeating me, even as they began to get very strong and painful. I was able to whisper with John in between contractions, even joking with him from time to time, or letting him know that I needed a drink of water or a different kind of touch or help. I had been hoping to have a water birth this time, and so far the tub was continuing to be comfortable for me, even as I felt my body begin to transition from dilation to the beginning of pushing, so I was encouraged that I might be able to stay in the tub until the end.

Another difference between this labor and Benjamin’s was that thinking about and talking to my baby were encouraging to me, whereas when I was having Benjamin, I wasn’t in the state of mind to think about the end result, only to try to survive each moment. After my body had been beginning to push for a bit, Pam encouraged me to reach in and feel the baby’s head. It was still fairly high up, but it was within reach, and I smiled and said hello to my baby as I touched its head for the first time. My waters hadn’t broken yet, but the head was still easy to feel through the bag. A while later after a handful more pushing contractions, I reached in to feel the head further down, but it didn’t feel any further. I tried not to let this discourage me and instead kept focusing on handling the contractions productively.

As Pam explained to me later, when she reached in to feel my progress at this point, she noticed that the baby’s head had moved further up, not down. Her first thought was that the baby was stuck, but when she tried to feel around the head to see if it felt wedged, she noticed that it moved easily beneath her fingers. At my last prenatal visit, Pam had told me that I had what was called a pendulous uterus, which meant that my uterus (and thus the baby) was sagging over the top of the pubic bone. This condition was apparently what was holding up my labor as well – the baby was slouching over the top of the bone and couldn’t keep moving down into my pelvis because of the angle. Pam wanted me to get out of the tub so we could try moving around and getting into different positions to try to help baby get into position. I sat on the toilet for a while with Pam and John both crammed into our tiny bathroom in front of me, Pam kneeling down and pushing up my belly during the contractions while John supported my arms by holding my elbows while I pulled down on him. We spent a few contractions moving around the hallway, standing in the doorframe while I leaned against John, and then we moved to the bed where I lied on my left side.

A third difference in this labor was that it wasn’t the strong pushing surges that felt so uncomfortable to me. During Benjamin’s labor, I had hated the feeling of my entire body forcing the baby out whether I was ready or not. It felt terrifying and uncontrollable to me. But this time, I finally understood the experience that other women have described in which the pushing sensations feel somehow positive and productive. When each contraction reached its peak and my body pushed strongly, it felt almost like a relief to the buildup of energy from the contraction. The part that I hated about this stage, though, was the horrible ache of my pelvis as I literally felt my bones spreading apart to try to let the baby through. If it hadn’t have been for that ache, I may have really enjoyed the whole pushing stage, aside from the apprehension we were feeling about getting the baby to keep moving down, which was still not happening.

As I lied on my left side with John lying beside me holding my hand, Pam told me that she was going to need me to spend a few contractions in a few different positions as we tried to help the baby move up and over the pubic bone and down into the pelvis. She warned me that it was going to hurt really badly, because changing positions typically can be very uncomfortable as your body adjusts to the new position, but that it needed to be done. First she wanted me to get on my knees and elbows into a “knee-chest” position, and as I turned over I said I was scared. I was afraid of the pain being even more intense than it already was, but I knew that we were running out of options and I wanted this baby out. The pain was terrible, but the space in between contractions suddenly stretched out very long, which was a wonderful, welcome break. Pam said that the long breaks were an indicator that the baby was using the new angles as an opportunity to move into a better position, and I was encouraged to hear that it looked like progress. After spending three or four contractions like this, Pam had me flip over to lie flat on my back, which she warned me might be the most painful position of all, but that it would help the baby move back away from the pubic bone so it could start heading downward again. She had me pull my knees up toward my chest during contractions, and it felt funny to me to be in the typical American birthing posture when just about everything else we were doing was so contrary to the norm in our culture! Surprisingly, and thankfully, this position actually hurt slightly less than what I had been doing previously, and Pam said that this confirmed that baby was moving into position and my body wasn’t having to work against itself anymore. Being on my back, however, was causing the baby’s heart rate to drop, so after a few contractions I was angled slightly on my left side again, with my belly supported by a pillow, and the heart rate came right back up to where it belonged.

Sometime around this point I overheard Pam making a comment to one of the other midwives that I wasn’t actively pushing, and when I heard her say this, something clicked in my head. During Benjamin’s labor, the involuntary pushing of my body was more than I could handle, and participating with or adding to the pushing was never really something I considered, nor was it necessary at the time. I had gone into this labor expecting something similar, and it hadn’t occurred to me that I could (or even should) add to the already strong pushing my body was doing on its own. But when Pam’s comment made me realize that this was an option, it occurred to me that I might be able to get this baby out faster if I give it all I’ve got rather than just letting it happen as it happens. (There is a time to let things go more slowly if it prevents tearing, but I was at a point by now where I didn’t care if I tore as long as I could get this labor over with and the baby out!) When the next contraction came, I PUSHED! This was when my water finally broke, and immediately things started happening.

(When Pam and I talked later, she told me that it was a blessing that it didn’t occur to me to add to the pushing before this point. Because my waters remained intact throughout most of the labor, particularly through the end while I was changing positions and helping the baby move up and over the pubic bone, the intact bag allowed enough cushion and room for that movement to occur. If my waters had broken earlier, either by my pushing harder or by someone artificially rupturing the membranes to try to speed labor along, the baby likely would have become truly stuck and I may have had to be transferred to the hospital for a c-section. I am convinced that without Pam’s wisdom in troubleshooting the problem, encouraging me to strategically change positions, and her patience in allowing the membranes to remain intact as long as possible, I almost surely would not have had a vaginal birth!)

Everyone was filing into our small bedroom now because I was nearing the end. I was squeezing the life out of John’s hand because the baby was beginning to crown and it hurt like crazy, but I was pushing through it with everything I had because I wanted that baby out! There was a lot of activity, and I could feel that my pushes were finally being productive and the baby was moving down. Pam had told the other midwives that I had wanted to go back to the tub for the birth and asked me if I still wanted to do this, but I was so anxious for it to be over that I said I wanted to be wherever was going to help me bring the baby out fastest, and if that meant staying put then that was fine! When the baby’s head started to come out, John was called to come to the end of the bed so he could catch the baby, and my mom took his place by my head so I had a hand to squeeze. I was pushing with everything I could and waiting for that sudden feeling of relief when the head is out and the worst is over, and then suddenly, there it was! The stretching feeling wasn’t gone completely, though, and I pushed hard to finish the job, and there it was again — the relief and that slithering feeling as my baby slipped out of my body into John’s hands. I couldn’t see past my belly to see the baby, but I was listening to all the chatter and commotion and waiting to hear the news — boy or girl?? John looked and said with surprise, “It’s a girl!” (He had felt like it was going to be a boy, and I had mostly convinced myself of the same because I wanted a girl so badly and wanted to be prepared for another boy!) I didn’t fully believe it, and then my mom leaned over to me crying and said, “Honey, you had a little girl!” I still didn’t believe it! They placed my baby on my lap, and I moved the cord away and cried when I saw it for myself — my sweet little girl that I had prayed for!

We named her Carolyn Paige —  Carolyn after John’s mother, Carol, and Paige after my maiden name. She was born at 3:07am on February 28th, weighing 9 lbs. 4 oz., and 20 inches long. She is unbelievable, sweet and snuggly, very content, and her big brother adores her already. Benjamin wasn’t sure about her for the first day or two, but now he is constantly coming to see her and exclaiming “baby!”, and giving her sweet kisses on the head. We are so overjoyed to have welcomed this new little one into our family! She completes us in a way we didn’t even know we needed to be completed. I can barely wait to get to know her better as she grows into the beautiful, unique personality that God created her to be!